“A Poisonous relationship can alter our perception. You can spend many years thinking you’re worthless. But you’re not worthless. You’re underappreciated.” – Steve Maraboli
Being in a bad or toxic relationship is often something that we don’t realize that we’re in until we’re out of it. Bad relationships can invade every other aspect of our lives, from our friendships to our family relationships. They can make you feel depressed or anxious for no reason.
Marriage & family therapist and author Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT says, “Healthy relationships nourish and support us. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is like poison to us — instead of lifting us up, it makes us feel worse. When it ends, we might experience post-traumatic stress or a lessening of self-esteem and trust in ourselves and others.”
When you’re in a bad relationship, you’re probably ignoring all the signs – it’s what we do as humans to protect ourselves. If you’re in a toxic relationship, you may notice these signs that point towards a bad relationship that you don’t want to admit.
HERE ARE 11 SIGNS YOU’RE IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP
1. YOU’RE WONDERING IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS BAD
One of the first signs that you’re not actually in a good relationship is questioning whether or not your relationship is bad because “This is your subconscious telling you something,” says Relationship expert and couples therapist Nicole McCance.
You may have rough patches in normal relationships, but aren’t always wondering if your relationship is bad. But a bad relationship will have you wondering if your relationship is garbage – and that’s the first sign that you should be looking critically at your relationship.
2. YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE A PRIORITY
Does your partner put you first when you need it? Does your partner seem like the kind of person who will drop everything and help you when it’s really important? If not, then you’re probably in a relationship where you don’t feel like a priority to your partner. While we can’t always be top priority, you should feel like your partner cares about you.
3. IF THEY DON’T WANT TO DO SOMETHING, THEN YOU CAN’T DO IT EITHER
In a relationship, you sometimes have to do things you don’t want to do because it’s important to your partner, or because you want to make them happy. You may go see a movie you’re not interested in because your partner likes it. But in a bad relationship, if your partner doesn’t want to do something, then you probably won’t be allowed to do it either. If your partner doesn’t want to go to a movie, you’re probably not going to be able to see it.
In a toxic relationship, “ … you are constantly put down, criticised and forced to do what is unacceptable to you and your values. When your autonomy in thoughts, words, and decisions is taken away and you start actually believing and accepting that you have no choice in any matter, ” says psychotherapist and relationship counselor Dr. Minnu Bhonsle Ph.D.
4. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY DISLIKE YOUR PARTNER
You have probably been on the other end of this situation. A friend or family member has been in a bad relationship, and you didn’t like their partner. If you’re suddenly on the opposite side of that, you may want to take your friends and family’s concern seriously. If your partner isn’t well-liked, it might be for a reason.